Family Boundaries

I am a person who is very, very family oriented and so is my husband, Danny. Of course there are our own/immediate family (spouse and kids), extended family (parents, siblings and in-laws), close and distant relatives. And the order of priorities are as presented.

At this point of time, as parents, my husband and I will have to ensure the safety and security of our kids.. that they are loved, nurtured, protected (note not overprotected) and are taught biblical values and to love God... Our kids are still young and most of the time are unable to make sound judgement, as parents we need to guide them and protect them from making wrong decisions.. till probably when they are older (by the way my son, Shane is five and my daughter, Kate is barely 3 months).

Our parents are precious but once we (their children) start our family then they will have to let loose. Not that we are being rebellious but there are reasons for this to take place. When we as parents want to discipline our children and when grandparents are present, there could be awkwardness. Grandparents tend (not all of them) to pamper their grandchildren and so do uncles and aunties who like to pamper their nephews and nieces. It is not easy to have so many families living under one roof. Disagreements are bound to happen, sooner or later. It is best that families have their own boundaries. Their own space. We need our own space and who doesn't.

"For this reason a mean will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
and they will become one flesh."
Genesis 2:24

I treasure my extended families very much and spend a lot of time with them. They love my kids dearly. And sometimes treat my kids as though their own. No doubt this is good but overdoing it is a no-no. Kids still need to know who is in charged - MOM & DAD; and not granny or grandpa, or uncle or auntie so and so... A lot of things done by our other families are all well-meaning but we as parents must be cautious not to let them go over board. Offering too many junk food/drink, buying too many toys, and instant gratifications too often, are not very healthy. Especially Asian culture, we either not do anything at all or tend to overdo things... hmmm...

" "Everything is permissible" -- but not everything is beneficial...
"Everything is permissible" -- but not everything is constructive. "
1 Corinthians 10:23

Our children must be taught of the above truth... It is hard to confront/carefront when things like these happen... we will be marked as arrogant, strict parents, unappreciative... oh only God knows. When we have to do it, we must do it. Ask God for grace and wisdom to deal with such situation. God will meet us where we are.

Therefore, it is vital that the family unit stay together and not be 'intruded' by anyone - well-meaning or not... unless it is for the purpose of reconciliation and seeking help (eg. counselling). Always ask God to bind us in love and to protect us against intrusion...